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Off topic: How do you deal with friends that like to visit in office hours?
Thread poster: Aditya Ikhsan Prasiddha
NancyLynn
NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 13:43
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

Moderator of this forum
Different time zones Feb 5, 2015

Thomas Pfann wrote:

It's actually a lot more difficult when they visit outside of office hours and you are still busy with work.



Try explaining that your client is on the West Coast, or in Europe, or even Tokyo! Some folks can't believe it.

I also do live interpreting for television news. As you can imagine, there are periods where I am silent. One house mate I had came in to my office at such a moment, phone book and portable in hand, hoping I would make an appointment with the dentist - for him! Because you know, I'm just sitting there not doing anything...


 
Diana Obermeyer
Diana Obermeyer  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 17:43
Member (2013)
German to English
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Rural areas are a different world Feb 5, 2015

Merab Dekano wrote:

Nobody just drops by without warning. Now, if they appeared “out of the blue, they would “disappear in the thin air”

It just does not happen. You plan your time together.


In rural Britain they do.
And they tend not to understand any form of explanation either. The typical reaction is somewhere along the lines of "OK, I'll just sit here and wait. I'll just be quiet." And they think that only asking a question every 2 or 3 minutes is being quiet.
I think it's more of a country/city thing than country-specific. Of course, I would be able to carry on my work as normal with someone talking at me, if I'm milking cows or mucking out stables. In a small village community this really is normal, just as it's normal to stand waiting for an hour at your local garage/shop because the mechanic/shop keeper is catching up on the gossip and that has priority over serving customers. I always have to plan in an hour to buy a pint of milk, because that's just the culture. It's normal to get your car back two weeks after schedule if you drop it off for a larger repair. It's normal to stop and chat to every single person you meet out walking. And it's normal to just pop in, if you see that somebody is at home.
So people really struggle to understand why you can't just do your work later, or why you can't talk while you're trying to concentrate.
Once you welcome someone, it's also impossible to limit the time. Telling a surprise guest after 20 or 30 minutes that you need to get back to work usually just results on a new subject being started. I have been quite blunt in the past and actually told folk they would need to pay me £500 to carry on a conversation, because I got that frustrated. I wasn't very popular after that.
I finally worked out that the most effective tactic is to head outside for a walk with my dogs and invite them to come along. Stating that I really need to get on with my work at the end of the walk is far more effective then trying to move people to get up from a comfy seat, as at that point one would need to be invited in.


 
Tom in London
Tom in London
United Kingdom
Local time: 17:43
Member (2008)
Italian to English
Haha Feb 5, 2015

Ha ha Diana - your post made me laugh, because I used to live in the country near an Italian village, and it was just the same. From the map on your profile page I can imagine the problems you have (although I do envy your marvellous remoteness).

Going into the baker's shop for a loaf involved waiting whilst the ladies in front of me discussed with the baker what they cooked for dinner the previous evening, how their son is getting on at school etc.

But you're right abo
... See more
Ha ha Diana - your post made me laugh, because I used to live in the country near an Italian village, and it was just the same. From the map on your profile page I can imagine the problems you have (although I do envy your marvellous remoteness).

Going into the baker's shop for a loaf involved waiting whilst the ladies in front of me discussed with the baker what they cooked for dinner the previous evening, how their son is getting on at school etc.

But you're right about people just dropping in for a chat. In Italy this is common in cities too. I don't know who actually does the work, but it seems to get done somehow!

It's very difficult to keep visitors away without appearing rude and inconsiderate(even though it's they who are being rude and inconsiderate). Maybe the only way is to be openly and inconsiderate so that they never come back !

[Edited at 2015-02-05 10:24 GMT]
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XXXphxxx (X)
XXXphxxx (X)  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 17:43
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Friends who come to stay Feb 5, 2015

People popping by I can deal with, I just tell them I'm working, it only takes a couple of times for them to cotton on to the fact that I do actually work normal office hours. A bigger problem has always been that for the past 15 years or so I've lived in beautiful parts of France and now England so friends and relatives regularly ask if they can come and stay. Since the guest room is also my study it isn't altogether convenient. They might be on paid holidays or retired but I'm not and if I too... See more
People popping by I can deal with, I just tell them I'm working, it only takes a couple of times for them to cotton on to the fact that I do actually work normal office hours. A bigger problem has always been that for the past 15 years or so I've lived in beautiful parts of France and now England so friends and relatives regularly ask if they can come and stay. Since the guest room is also my study it isn't altogether convenient. They might be on paid holidays or retired but I'm not and if I took days off every time a guest asked to come and stay it would probably amount to an extra 4 weeks holiday over the course of a year. Curiously, they never take days off work if I visit them and nor would I expect them to. Unfortunately I've never managed to crack that one and a few friendships have probably been compromised as a result.Collapse


 
Ph_B (X)
Ph_B (X)  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 18:43
English to French
What about neighbours? Feb 5, 2015

What about neighbours dropping in for 'small favours'? Slightly off-topic, perhaps, but aren't the consequences the same?

We live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest photocopying machine is kilometres away – and old people around here won’t touch a computer or printer. I’m sure it’s good for socialising, being part of the community and all that, but definitely not for concentration or getting your work done.

So we decided to hide (!) and ended up moving our
... See more
What about neighbours dropping in for 'small favours'? Slightly off-topic, perhaps, but aren't the consequences the same?

We live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest photocopying machine is kilometres away – and old people around here won’t touch a computer or printer. I’m sure it’s good for socialising, being part of the community and all that, but definitely not for concentration or getting your work done.

So we decided to hide (!) and ended up moving our desks to the back of the house and having net curtains, which is a bit of a shame when you have a garden and live in the countryside, but there you go.

It worked a treat until…we got a puppy, who is usually quiet but he also happens to be quite sociable and is only too happy to let whoever knocks at the door know that yes, ‘mum and dad’ are at home.

Definitely off-topic now (sorry, Aditya) but could anyone please advise on puppies who let the cat out of the bag?
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Tom in London
Tom in London
United Kingdom
Local time: 17:43
Member (2008)
Italian to English
Extreme measures Feb 5, 2015

Ph_B wrote:

.....ended up moving our desks to the back of the house and having net curtains, which is a bit of a shame when you have a garden and live in the countryside, but there you go.


Wow - that's extreme

advise on puppies who let the cat out of the bag?


I like the wordplay !


 
Merab Dekano
Merab Dekano  Identity Verified
Spain
Member (2014)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Not in Belgium Feb 5, 2015

dianaft wrote:

Merab Dekano wrote:

Nobody just drops by without warning. Now, if they appeared “out of the blue, they would “disappear in the thin air”

It just does not happen. You plan your time together.

I always have to plan in an hour to buy a pint of milk, because that's just the culture. It's normal to get your car back two weeks after schedule if you drop it off for a larger repair. It's normal to stop and chat to every single person you meet out walking. And it's normal to just pop in, if you see that somebody is at home.


During my days in Canary Islands I learnt funny expression: "aplatanado" (verbatim: "bananised"), which actually means being "too relaxed", "confused" or "groggy". Little that I knew that otherwise nice islands did not actually top the ranking of laid-back lifestyles.

(Un)fortunately in Belgium (where I currently live) you will certainly get punched in the face (men) or strangled (women) should you be liable of makimg someone wait an extra minute in a queue.

We "tacitly" stopped our "friendship" with a local couple, as every time we invited them, or they invited us, the time elapsed between the invitation date and that of the event was at least 6 weeks. We simply used to forget it.


 
Preston Decker
Preston Decker  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 13:43
Chinese to English
Second the country vs. city theory Feb 6, 2015

dianaft wrote:

Merab Dekano wrote:

Nobody just drops by without warning. Now, if they appeared “out of the blue, they would “disappear in the thin air”

It just does not happen. You plan your time together.


In rural Britain they do.
And they tend not to understand any form of explanation either. The typical reaction is somewhere along the lines of "OK, I'll just sit here and wait. I'll just be quiet." And they think that only asking a question every 2 or 3 minutes is being quiet.
I think it's more of a country/city thing than country-specific. Of course, I would be able to carry on my work as normal with someone talking at me, if I'm milking cows or mucking out stables. In a small village community this really is normal, just as it's normal to stand waiting for an hour at your local garage/shop because the mechanic/shop keeper is catching up on the gossip and that has priority over serving customers. I always have to plan in an hour to buy a pint of milk, because that's just the culture. It's normal to get your car back two weeks after schedule if you drop it off for a larger repair. It's normal to stop and chat to every single person you meet out walking. And it's normal to just pop in, if you see that somebody is at home.
So people really struggle to understand why you can't just do your work later, or why you can't talk while you're trying to concentrate.
Once you welcome someone, it's also impossible to limit the time. Telling a surprise guest after 20 or 30 minutes that you need to get back to work usually just results on a new subject being started. I have been quite blunt in the past and actually told folk they would need to pay me £500 to carry on a conversation, because I got that frustrated. I wasn't very popular after that.
I finally worked out that the most effective tactic is to head outside for a walk with my dogs and invite them to come along. Stating that I really need to get on with my work at the end of the walk is far more effective then trying to move people to get up from a comfy seat, as at that point one would need to be invited in.


Just about three weeks ago my fiancee and I drove out through the mountains and onto the plateau north of here. You literally go from a smog filled city of 2 million people to empty grasslands in an hour and fifteen minutes.

Anyways, we stayed that night with her cousins in their village, and planned to get back sometime in the mid-afternoon so I could work on a project. Her cousin wanted a ride over to see her sister, and as it was on the way back home, we obliged. Of course we had to drop in and say hi, and once inside no amount of explaining about the job was able to get us out without agreeing to stay for lunch, which was supposed to take 20 minutes.

We left an hour and a half later after lunch and a walk.

A bit frustrating at the time, but I think all in all I'm glad that there are still some places that don't quite work on modern time.


 
Ben Gaia
Ben Gaia  Identity Verified
New Zealand
Local time: 06:43
French to English
+ ...
Create a fake urgent task... Feb 12, 2015

One solution for chatty rural friends is to create a sudden urgency, in a friendly way, look at your watch and say, "Oh, shit, I've got to make an important work call RIGHT NOW, can you come back another time?" Then pick up the phone and dial and even speak into it. Or get busy putting on your coat and grab keys etc, saying "This is a bad time, I've got an appointment." and actually leave the house for a while. It is not worth sacrificing a friendship for work, however a real friend will underst... See more
One solution for chatty rural friends is to create a sudden urgency, in a friendly way, look at your watch and say, "Oh, shit, I've got to make an important work call RIGHT NOW, can you come back another time?" Then pick up the phone and dial and even speak into it. Or get busy putting on your coat and grab keys etc, saying "This is a bad time, I've got an appointment." and actually leave the house for a while. It is not worth sacrificing a friendship for work, however a real friend will understand and come back later.

[Edited at 2015-02-12 16:59 GMT]
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Icecreamqueen
Icecreamqueen
Germany
German to English
Berlin city of freelance coffee drinkers Apr 14, 2015

Merab Dekano wrote:

Nobody just drops by without warning. Now, if they appeared “out of the blue”, they would “disappear in the thin air”

It just does not happen. You plan your time together.


Living and working in Berlin this happens ALL the time! No one seems to have a regular 9-5 job in an office. I had a really hard time dealing with it and ended up working in the evenings to avoid the problem. But finally I had the solution. I just explained that when I am home, if I am working I simply won't answer the door. I disconnect the doorbell. It makes me feel so much calmer and I can keep normal office hours. If people want to meet they can schedule a lunch break with me. ; )


 
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