This gladiator/gladit double entendre is abundantly clear to any native Russian speaker, regardless of its connection to that Khrushchev era scandal you've mentioned (I, for one, have never heard of it and had to go click on that link to see what it was all about; it makes one wonder what else they conveniently forgot to tell us:))). On the other hand, it makes no sense whatsoever to an English speaker, so I am with Mikhail on this: there is no point in even trying to preserve that particular play on words. You need something totally organic to English to make sure this joke doesn't become a hopeless dud. You know, use those lemons to make lemonade rather than rye kvas or something:)

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Note added at 45 mins (2021-02-09 16:47:13 GMT)
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Oh, and your take on it, i.e. "that his friends are going to prostitutes and/or cheating on their wives with younger women" is totally off. It's exactly the other way around. It's more like what Mikhail is saying - they would if they could, but they can't.

Coincidentally, as one of those 50+ men the author so dismissively writes off, I say he is full of hot gas. We are still going strong:) and he'd do himself a favor remembering that old joke: don't flatter yourself, come closer:)