Apr 20, 2011 07:46
13 yrs ago
Japanese term

天空の軋み

Japanese to English Art/Literary Music
The whole sentence is as follows:
ニ音の保続がコントラバスに移ると天空の軋みのような高音域、狭いグリッサンドで揺れる中音域と、音現象が多層に分かれる。

Proposed translations

+3
4 hrs
Selected

an ethereal clashing / an ethereal resonance

In terms of musical expression, I think that "like an ethereal clash or clashing" would be closer in meaning. Also, another synonym for "clash" in the Oxford Thesaurus is "resonate" so I have added resonance as another alternative.

天空 = sky, air, ether, firmament
軋み = squeak, grate, creak, clash with
[Source: Nelson's Japanese Character Dictionary]

Also, "ether" is defined as" The regions of space beyond the earth's atmosphere; the heavens" hence "ethereal."
Peer comment(s):

agree Mami Yamaguchi : Sounds beautiful,Joyce.
33 mins
Thank you so much, Mami! :-)
agree Shannon Morales : Beautiful, Joyce! This gives it the positive spin I think it needs, too.
39 mins
Muchas gracias, Shannon! :-)
agree Raitei : "Ethereal clashing (discord)" is very good and fitting for a musical description. However, "resonance" is too general and does not accurately describe the sound produced by sound clusters. In this case, 「軋む」most likely points to "dissonance."
15 hrs
Thank you, Raitei. Always, appreciate your comments. I was most interested in your comment to Gabriel mentioning that you have played several modern pieces...It is fascinating to discover other aspects of fellow ProZers. :-)
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "I liked "ethereal clashing," too. "
-1
28 mins

squeaking noise of sky

Peer comment(s):

disagree Chase Merritt : This sounds like just grabbing random literal definitions for the words and then throwing them together.
3096 days
Something went wrong...
6 hrs

creaky sound of the roof of heaven

an alternative
Peer comment(s):

agree Mami Yamaguchi : 創造的というか、遊び心があふれて良いと思います。
2 hrs
ありがとうございます。
neutral Raitei : "creaky"っていう直訳はちょっとね
14 hrs
Thanks a lot!前にも書きましたがもっと頻繁に出て来てください。
disagree Chase Merritt : This sounds like just grabbing random literal definitions for the words and then throwing them together.
3095 days
Something went wrong...
+1
16 hrs

heavenly discord / heavenly strife

I think the synonym 「軋轢」, which means "friction", "strife", or "discord" can be used in this instance.
Peer comment(s):

agree Raitei : In a musical context, I think the word we are looking for is "dissonance." Sound clusters in modern music tend to be very dissonant. I have played several modern pieces featuring clusters in orchestras dedicated to 20th century music.
3 hrs
Something went wrong...
3096 days

like scraping against the sky in the upper register, with the narrow glissando in the middle regi...

Instead of throwing random dictionary definitions for the words together, we need to think about what the person is actually trying to say.

They seem to be talking about how the dissonance between two notes becomes more pronounced and extreme as you move them lower and lower into bass registers. If you play a perfect fifth on the bottom end of a 5-string bass guitar, it almost sounds more dissonant than a minor second on the top strings of a guitar. If you've ever tuned a guitar by comparing strings, you can clearly hear how the frequency of vibrations change speed and get more or less intense as the interval between the two notes played against each other becomes more or less dissonant.

Without any context, I'm guessing they're contrasting the contrabass to similar but separate (in the writer's assertion) phenomena in the mid-range, where they're saying that it sounds like there's a glissando (slide) going on continuously, and in parallel, in the upper registers, where they're also using some sort of strange metaphor, describing the sound itself with the word 軋み, while 天空 is also just added perhaps just to describe the direction that the writer feels like the sound is coming from, since the pitch is "higher", to invoke a more vivid image in the reader's mind.

So since this is a scientific description and not song lyrics, I wouldn't get too pretentious or overly poetic and dramatic with words like "ethereal" or "heavenly", because they're not adding some kind of extreme positive emotional value judgement to the phenomena, but rather just describing observable scientific phenomena in physical terms via a metaphor of where the sound is coming from. So I would just say "in the sky," "from the sky," or "against the sky."

Then which translation you choose for "軋み" I suppose is a matter of how you interpret the original intent. It could be "creaking/screeching up in the sky," "grating/scraping against the sky," etc. If they're talking about violins and other bowed instruments, I would imagine myself that they're imagining dissonance between violins that sounds like something scraping against the sky, like nails on a chalkboard. Except that there's nothing actually to scrape against in the sky because it's all air. But I guess sound is just moving air, technically. Once again, weird metaphor.
Something went wrong...
Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search