Glossary entry (derived from question below)
Portuguese term or phrase:
um pouco sol e um pouco alma
English translation:
a little soul, a little sun
Added to glossary by
Oliver Simões
Apr 13, 2022 18:59
2 yrs ago
15 viewers *
Portuguese term
United States
BA in Transl., MA in ESL, 15 yrs of exp.
Native in: Portuguese 
Works in: English to Portuguese, Portuguese to English, Spanish to Portuguese, and 2 more.
um pouco sol e um pouco alma
Portuguese to English
Other
Poetry & Literature
Lyrical poetry
Não saber bem o que se diz
É um pouco sol e um pouco alma.
Ah, quem me dera ser feliz.
Teria isto, mais a calma.
-- Fernando Pessoa
A little sun, a little soul?
Whatever translation you suggest, please make sure it blends in nicely with the other lines. This is what I have so far:
Not knowing well what to vent
Is a little sun, a little soul.
Alas, I only wish I were content.
I'd have contentment, plus calm.
L2: EN_US
Register: poetic
As Carlos Drummond de Andrade would say, "lutar com palavras é a luta mais vã". Rhyming is not easy, let alone in a language other than L1.
Suggestions for improving the translation of line 4 will be appreciated. Thanks!
É um pouco sol e um pouco alma.
Ah, quem me dera ser feliz.
Teria isto, mais a calma.
-- Fernando Pessoa
A little sun, a little soul?
Whatever translation you suggest, please make sure it blends in nicely with the other lines. This is what I have so far:
Not knowing well what to vent
Is a little sun, a little soul.
Alas, I only wish I were content.
I'd have contentment, plus calm.
L2: EN_US
Register: poetic
As Carlos Drummond de Andrade would say, "lutar com palavras é a luta mais vã". Rhyming is not easy, let alone in a language other than L1.
Suggestions for improving the translation of line 4 will be appreciated. Thanks!
Proposed translations
(English)
| 4 +1 | a little soul, a little sun |
Katarina Peters
|
| 4 | I propose changing line four instead |
Simone Taylor
|
| 3 | a bit of sun, a touch of soul |
ezpz
|
Proposed translations
+1
4 hrs
Katarina Peters
Canada
Canada
Native in English
Specializes in field
Canada
Accuracy and A1 presentation
Native in: Hungarian 
, English (Variant: US)
Works in: English to Portuguese, Portuguese to English, Hungarian to English, and 13 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
76
Selected
a little soul, a little sun
I would change your stanzas this way, in order the get the rhyme scheme in the original, as well as the rhythm:
Not really knowing what to vent
Is a little soul, a little sun
Oh, how I wish to be content,
So I'd have that, plus the calm
Not really knowing what to vent
Is a little soul, a little sun
Oh, how I wish to be content,
So I'd have that, plus the calm
Note from asker:
| I love it. Thank you, Katarina. |
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
José Patrício
: the sun is divine, the soul is divine...
9 hrs
|
|
Thanks José, but where is the rhyme?
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thank you. Very helpful."
4 hrs
Simone Taylor
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
Native in Portuguese
&
English
Specializes in field
United Kingdom
ITI/SUBTLE affiliate BRPTEN
Native in: Portuguese (Variant: Brazilian) , English (Variant: British)
Works in: Portuguese to English, English to Portuguese
Related KudoZ points
:
8
I propose changing line four instead
What about changing the rhyme on line four instead:
Not knowing well what to vent
Is a little sun, a little soul.
Alas, I only wish I were content.
I'd have contentment and control.
Not knowing well what to vent
Is a little sun, a little soul.
Alas, I only wish I were content.
I'd have contentment and control.
18 hrs
a bit of sun, a touch of soul
bueno aquí va la mía:
What to say
A bit of sun, a touch of soul
Oh happiness
Bring me peace, bring me calm
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 18 hrs (2022-04-14 13:45:04 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
well, maybe "a bit of sun, a bit of love" is clearer and matching his rudimentary wording, but the word "love" is so over-used it kills the magic
What to say
A bit of sun, a touch of soul
Oh happiness
Bring me peace, bring me calm
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 18 hrs (2022-04-14 13:45:04 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
well, maybe "a bit of sun, a bit of love" is clearer and matching his rudimentary wording, but the word "love" is so over-used it kills the magic
Discussion
Also, I don't think you can repeat "content(ment)" - the Portuguese doesn't.
In the past, you could have used "say/gay"!
Isn't the idea "is like having my soul and my sun taken from me"? It's something negative that makes him unhappy. I'm not sure "a little" conveys it.
A estrada, como uma senhora,
Só dá passagem legalmente.
Escrevo ao sabor quente da hora
Baldadamente.
Não saber bem o que se diz
É um pouco sol e um pouco alma.
Ah, quem me dera ser feliz.
Teria isto, mais a calma.
Bom campo, estrada com cadastro,
Legislação entre erva nata.
Vai atar a alma com um nastro
Só para ver quem ma desata.
Besides, I like the "t" alliterations. Also, replacing "plus" with "and" makes the poem flow better.
Please feel free to add your answer if you want to get some KudoZ points. :-)
Not knowing well what to vent
Is a little sun, a little soul.
Alas, I only wish I were content.
I'd have contentment and control.