Apr 16, 2008 17:48
16 yrs ago
2 viewers *
English term
Veni Vidi Vici
Native in: Russian 
, Ukrainian
Works in: Russian to English, English to Russian, Ukrainian to English, and 5 more.
we are brining them to your notice
English
Tech/Engineering
Internet, e-Commerce
password reminder
I would like to know if this phrase is 100 % ok in the context below, or maybe someone can suggest a better variant.
In general, it would be desirable to make the whole sentence where this phrase appears somewhat shorter or split it. Though it is not crucial. If it is ok as - let is be so.
===
Dear User,
You are currently subscribed to one or several mailing lists at the XXX site.
As you have recently requested for a reminder of you subscription details, ***we are brining them to your notice:***
Your subscription details are as follows:
Email:
Password :
In general, it would be desirable to make the whole sentence where this phrase appears somewhat shorter or split it. Though it is not crucial. If it is ok as - let is be so.
===
Dear User,
You are currently subscribed to one or several mailing lists at the XXX site.
As you have recently requested for a reminder of you subscription details, ***we are brining them to your notice:***
Your subscription details are as follows:
Email:
Password :
Responses
+4
4 mins
Mark Berelekhis
United States
United States
Native in English
&
English
Works in field
United States
Exemplary quality, truly bilingual
Native in: Russian 
, English
Works in: Russian to English, English to Russian, English
Related KudoZ points
:
16
Selected
strike it completely
This particular sentence is redundant. Here's what I'd do:
"You have recently requested an e-mail with your subscription details. They are as follows:"
Nice and simple. No extra words or sentences.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 12 mins (2008-04-16 18:00:19 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
Sure. Initially I didn't think the reminding part was important, but if it is -- that's fine as well.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 13 mins (2008-04-16 18:02:04 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
You can also easily avoid the "to remind you" part if the e-mail subject is termed "reminder."
"You have recently requested an e-mail with your subscription details. They are as follows:"
Nice and simple. No extra words or sentences.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 12 mins (2008-04-16 18:00:19 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
Sure. Initially I didn't think the reminding part was important, but if it is -- that's fine as well.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 13 mins (2008-04-16 18:02:04 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
You can also easily avoid the "to remind you" part if the e-mail subject is termed "reminder."
Note from asker:
| maybe this way - "You have recently requested TO REMIND YOU OF your subscription details. They are as follows:" |
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Yes, Mark, the subject is "reminder". So I will go with your initial version. Thank you very much! You was most helpful as usual.
Also, many thanks to the other two answerers. Still, I will go with Mark's version as it seems most concise and to the point. "
+1
3 mins
George Rabel
TRANSLATIONS THAT READ LIKE ORIGINALS
Native in: Spanish
Works in: English to Spanish, Spanish, Spanish to English, and 1 more.
Here's the detailed subscription list you requested:
As a consumer, I would prefer to receive that I suggested. Brief and to the point.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 4 mins (2008-04-16 17:52:36 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
I meant to write "what I suggested".
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 4 mins (2008-04-16 17:52:36 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
I meant to write "what I suggested".
6 mins
rewrite sentence
You have recently requested to be reminded of your subscription details. Please find these below:
I know this is fairly different, but I think it works better. If you do decide to keep the original, please note that the 'brining' should be 'bringing'.
I know this is fairly different, but I think it works better. If you do decide to keep the original, please note that the 'brining' should be 'bringing'.
Note from asker:
| yes ... that was my fault - thank you for pointing out the "brining" |
Something went wrong...